Sunday, May 17, 2009

Moldy limes and yesterday's clam chowder

Sounds wonderful doesn't it? Yesterday Carter was nice enough to "allow" me to do some housework. It sounded like a great idea at first, but as I was elbow deep in dirty dishes, I slowly discovered how much I neglect my housework. I spend a lot of my days looking for "that smell", sniffing around like a bloodhound, "Joe do you smell that???". Oh it must be that dish that's been soaking all week...I wash it...nope. Maybe it's the garbage...I take it out...nope. The sniffing continues...

Carter has a way of strategically placing his food around the house, whether he's storing it for later or he enjoys watching me smell everything in my house, I don't know, but you would be surprised at what I find around the house. He must store it in his cheeks like a hamster and then spit it out when I'm not looking, it really is my only logical explanation. Not to mention the Puffs he eats get stuck EVERYWHERE. It's a good day when I don't have to untangle one out of my hair or dig one out of my bra. On any given day you could come to my house and be sure to find a Puff somewhere, maybe even on you as your driving home.

So I managed to clean everything in my house, with the exception of the floors, while Carter slept...today I tackled the floors. Carter was sick of jumping around in his jumper so I busted out my Moby Wrap, which I haven't used in months...and I now remember why, and Carter helped me sweep and mop my floors. Have you ever tried to sweep and mop with a baby strapped to the front of you? Wait, let me rephrase that, have you ever tried to sweep and mop with a MONSTER baby strapped to the front of you? Its like a full contact sport! Everytime I moved the broom, Carter would jerk it back towards me while kicking wildly and screaming and laughing. I will admit that at first, and by that I mean the VERY first time, it was cute...but after getting kicked repeatedly in the crotch and bashed in the face by the broom, it wasn't so cute. The good news is, I still have all my teeth...oh and my floors managed to get swept. Now it was time to mop.

We really were quite the site to see, and believe me the neighbors got an eye full. Joe thought it'd be a bright idea to get one of those bucket's on wheels...like janitors use...and the tallest mop ever. Let me just remind you that I am 5"2. The bucket's wheels had a mind of their own and at any given moment it was sent careening towards the wall, splashing water everywhere. Again, being 5"2 with the shortest legs ever, my pants sort of drag around on the floor, so as I'm mopping...or the best form of mopping I could acheive with a mop taller than I was...my pants are soaking up the water off the floor and slowly getting heavier and heavier. At this point, my pants are making their way down around my ankles and the floor looks worse than it did before I started, so I took my pants off and continued to mop. Like any other "sport"..this one made me sweat profusely. Here I was, in my underwear, drenched with sweat and wearing Carter in the wrap while he practiced some sort of aerobics, did I mention all of my windows were open? As I looked outside I saw my neighbor, power washing her deck...and waving at me. Classy.

Two and a half hours later, the floors were done and Carter was napping...and I was done searching for "that smell". My housework is done...for now, we'll see about next week. So I have a few dishes in the sink and a mountain of laundry that I have yet to tackle...I have a happy baby and that's all that matters. Afterall...I am the mom of a monster baby, and housework isn't in my job title ;)


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